Okay. local crews are petty tight 'emselves eh. They need to be more open to hip-hop, whats with the hoooraayy to emotional love songs, about break-ups and shits? C'mon, its so passe. dont hate saykoji & all whores.


I'm holding cena's poster real high and with proud. Damn. Those kids should have used their brain before practising those moves, naive kiddos. & now they gonna ban these show. Jesus. for crying out loud.

when I sit at the corner with earphones hooked
I aint trying to be a hardcore and shits
that is me being an audience.
watching a show which I would never bother to dive in
I wanna scream 'fuck the world' like those rappers
what are these shits about the famous and infamous
about big boobs and shits?
makes me want to run you across my throat
I'm a poseur, yea, I'm a poseur
aren't you? a poser huh.
you and your dick-headed homies
I'm sick , man.
buy a gun from 7-11, and do me a favor,
shoot yourself on your asshole, you mofo.


you don't get it, don't you?

its been a week already. & the only thing that Ive been doing is treadmillin everyday for a mighty 5 minutes. Where's the drumset, mum? Argh. I hate reunions, I mean like, its been goddamn 4 years or so I met them, and showing my ass outta nowhere seems to be so . .. weird? I don't know. I don't get a damn what are they tlking about, we don't keep in touch,you see. and this added with my Dont-talk-unless-theres-somethen-to-talk-about attitude. I mean, I used to get loose around 'em, and I dont see no point why I couldnt once more. oh well.



No matter how hard I try to run, the past will come chasing me, making me feel like a total fool. gee God, when will I ever forget and forgive and get on with life. Times like these that turn me into self-hater. Argh. I really should find an acivity to keep myself busy with. Let's see. Im having chinese tuition every friday, saturday and sunday ( I probably wll be having one next year ). & perhaps, I should really bug my mum about the drumset ( I probably will be having the class next year with dionne ). or maybe, I could rent a dozen of movies since Ive finished the eminem's autobiography, the time traveller's wife & all of my bro's books that he brought that seems appealing to me. or maybe I could get my hair done. or whatever, Im talking to myself. tata.

mood : stomach fulla butterflies
stuck in my head : the will.I.am part in the gergalicious - gergies ( just guess why it stucks haha)


aye. few 4 and half-hour to taxi-callen. take this as an advance post though. geee. hope I'd have fun back there. I'm so gonna miss eating at ' europe' , smsin him everyday, watching mtv and all that. Jesus. anyway, I'd be back in like a month time. ah yea, I hate a guy. seriously, he's none better than some stuck-up bitch who manipulate her friends for her advantages. for cryin out loud. and * horror, this is the best part, he used to be charming to me? oh gosh. somethen is really wrong down here. damn. anyway, see ya.


He left me high and dry again last night. always. but I like. haha . ah yea. I was watching welcome to the black parade's video. I just realised gerard way's eyes are pretty too. but not doped. heh. he's down.

mood : doomed
stuck in my head : the will.I.am part in fergalicious


I'm coomah bored. damn damn. Mum and bro're off to paragon. gee, I want to swim but I'm waitin for my mum. I never can swim alone haha. ah yea, got a new one to fill up my mind with. okaye, I'm pathetic, who cares, do you? no?. okay I'm doomed.



Can you see his eyes? double eyelid and long eyelashes. isnt it just the most b-e-a-u-tiful thing ever? it is man, it is. DOPED !! oH, I found eyes like those in real life, like as in, nearby me. yea, believe it or not. YES YES !!. doped, double eyelid, long eyelashes. DAMN man, I love living haha. Pray for me aye. This is like coomah exciting luh. nyaahh. christmas christmas, arrive early please. heh. okay, I'm insane all over again. I could like remember each things, and I love reminiscing. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

mood : whacked
stcuk in my head : call on me - nelly


how baglady-like can I get?



aye. credits like go to serene for the top heh



I like the cardigan. It's so coomah. XD


Hailey knows who I've been talken about. like as in really talken about, like as in go on and on and on, and damned, on. but I like. it's like coomah fun. heh . I'm so gonna talk about him when I see joanne. huahua.

mood: tired?
stuck in my head : go to sleep - eminem


God knows why am I not sleepin at this ungodly hours. oh well. today was . . fun? yea, bites me. heh

mood : oily
stuck in my head : the intro of welcome to the black parade - my chemical romance


okay, ever anyone realise kevin Fed is a fucken POSEUR? Cena is right ! He should first return the God knows how much he's taken from Britney first. oh what the hell, what the hell. His face is like up on every channel I flicked to - oh, anyway, I only check out 20 and 22-. He's on raw !! ugh what the hell. Cena gonna break him into pieces. hahaha. I'm not mad anyway. heh


I've finished a huge glass of carrot juice. uh huh. I'm screwing lunch. I'm going to clean up my wardrobe. I like my wardrobe ! *scream. heh. anywayyy, another shopen with mum yesterday. found cool finds in This Fashion. things ya couldnt find anywhere in vivo - like duh *rollin eyes. haha. okay. anyway, eminem's got a new video - you dont know. go check you tube



Common : I'm feelin fat

mood : fucked up
stuck in my head : dirtbag- don't give a fuck what a nigga say


I'm pissed.
After Hailey called, Imma hoop for an hour .


yea man, I'm not pretty. shit. you gotta be blind that time. how fun.

mood : bloated
stuck in my head : my love - justin


okay, now I know, each times I feel like my neck is breakin' and the air is squeezin me I would just dip myself into the pool. =). I've gotten my peacock, butterfly and leaf earrings. $12 gone. Oh, I ordered 2 shirts costin me $30, meetin the girl on sat at city hall, so I bet I'd meet her before I go to the flea market Ive been talkin about , and then a white tube top - oh damn, I really need to go on a track and swimming, so it could fit me perfectly, oh well -. God knows how much Ive spent on clothes.


I'm really lookin forward to fly back to motherland. the plans are I'd take drummin' class, chinese class, treadmill-in', swimmin, license, driving class. oh well. God knows how many of those I would really do. ya know me, I always bogus. oh yea, not counting those special events like my grandmama & grandaddy 's birthday, my lil bro's birthday. be here on 19th dec. anyone to spend my days with till' hailey comes back? haha.


I freaked a bird out. how fun. but I promis I'd be agood girl and freak no birds out no more.

Did I say I like mango? oh well, I love their tunics. vivocity is love !
She speaks soft in a crowded place but speaks super loud in a silent place. you gotta be kidding me man. OKay, let's see what I've got. 2 for $10 bangles, hairband and a mango tunic. wee wee. gettin my peacock earring tomorrow. oh yea, I love online shoppin, too! Imma' put that up. Holiday holiday. I have a long list of what to do. This is gonna be so sex ! okay, Dionne taught me that. heh.

okay. stupid camera. I could have sworn all I pressed's that stupid delete button and that's only once, but I goddamned deleted all photos. damn it. just shoot me , someone, shoot me for good. my mum's gonna be so fumin' mad.

and one day I'd be holding my tummy and laugh out loud when I read these.

He goes by the name of Pharrell williams, and he is freaking cute, I always think so though, especially when he's in drop it like it's hot's video. He's smaller than normal rappers would be, he got that tight hairstyle goin on, hes skinny and muscly,a polo-shirt wearing or just shirt kinda guy, Hes best in what he does.oh man, he does remind me of someone I know. haha.

I think Imma start my own scrapbook. I'm so gonna go around and copy-and-paste girls with nice style on. so If I happened to copy yours, pardon me.

I hate martyr. Life isn't about people. It's about ya. Yes, maybe ya're gonna be so happy when your loved ones are, but are you like, really sure that they are? what if they are like, just like ya, satisfied from people's joy though that means sufferings are on the way ? For goodness' sake, stop thinking about others.

okaye. tagboard's up !!
friendster's cancelled.
boo. I'm gonna be a homie todaye.

I hate it when people talk in a condescending way,especially when they are bitching about our differences. Okay, lemme' get one thing straight aye. I don't ever think my life is boring at all. I mean, however the fuck ya wanna see it from any angle, you best listen properly aye, I don't give a damn. Yes, I can't hit the club because I'm fucking underage and I dont have a goddamn fake id. I don't pay bucks to sing in some cubicles. I don't seem to have a fucking life in all of my photos. I don't party. I don't not-study. I don't have an owl life. but shit, I'm still happy. I have a fucking happy family with no shit happening around. I love sitting at some dirty hawker centre, eating shared rojak, bitching about things with Hailey and Dionne, and fuck no, I never once get sick and tired of it. I'm having the time of my life when I'm sitting in some bus to God knows where and listening to my mp3 with the highest volume. It feels so good each time I'm back from church though I think its tedious. I'm on top of the world each time I receive my report book. and shopping makes me alive. and who gives a fuck if joanne, serene, hailey, dionne, bernice and my fellow 3ec classmates seem to be my only friends. Damn it, man. I think your life is boring, but you think otherwise. Ya think my life is fucken boring, and I fucken against ya. so, let's not get into each other's hair. shut your holes, assholes.

forever is a cliche word. It no longer has any meaning attached to it already. It just sounds so comforting, but we gotta stop being so oblivious, and maybe, stop bogusing?

you goddamned asshole, you think I give a fuck about you paranoid shit.

"stop bitching about people luh, you bitch bitch everyday, you also later become bitch"

and I fucken typed this at 7 am, because I have a fucken life to live, today and tomorrow and the day after and till the day I die.

I knew it all along, I knew it damned well but I thought it's just a personality of a bunch. a personality that's buried and will never exist again, since there's me. but oh well, I'm like, just so disappointed. am I actually? or is the rotten feeling? oh whatever it is.

this is hard, difficult and so not easy. It bothers me so much when my phone doesnt beep. oh well, who cares. everyone got their own lives to live, why should I bother man.

I miss and miss and miss my old friends.

okay. I was about to post up some bulletin, but it was tedious, so I just select all and delete.

wacthed why can't I be you? in mtv. that is so stupid. why can't I be you? WHY CAN'T I BE YOU? ya know why, because I'm not you and you are not me. and to think that they have been living in this world with naivety, seriously, is a big wonder.

to see your man being like literally injured, hurt, abused makes ya feel like . .. coo coo? heh. It's like, ya wanna change the channel but ya wanna know what's up next. Raw-ing is hell lot different from rapping. It takes the pain and the game to the very different level. It's more of the WHOS DA MAN?. heh. cena my man

some things just never changed aye, and will never. He always gets what he wants, its always his way or screw yoself. how fun is that.

capricorn maaaannn, change to virgo, will ya? haha.
boo boo.

I wonder, if I did it the other way, the better way, would this never happen? would things stay the same?
I wonder, if I could turn back time,like magically, would I do it the better way 'stead?
never betray, never no shit, my names would still be all over.
whatever.
I just miss.

I read joanne's last year posts. It set me to think. where the fuck had they go? How come I don't hang out with her or jin ling or qi si after school no more. and How come each time we bumped in school, I barely have time to just stop and say hi ? Jesus. the hell had happened? another one, I don't know the latest flow on mtv. I used to know what show's next and all those. what now? I don't even have ridin dirty by chamillionaire if Hailey didn't send me those, I didn't even know who sang it. and I did not even realise proof's dead till I checked out eminem.net last week. what's up with the friends forever and all those. and oh, what did I type about qisi not talkin to us no more?. How fucked up is this. I'm a hypocrite. boo me man, just boo me. now this whole thing just feel so awkward.
the last day of 2005 school's still fuckinly stucked in my mind. and we pledged that we will be as close as ever.
But different subjects, different classes, different people to hang out with, different recesses. fuck those man, I don't have to blame those. Do I even tell joanne what's happenin to my life in literature's class? Do I even say hi to her each time I pass by her class, whic is like, so often? and damn man, Do I even sit with them during recesses though I'm just a metre away?

blah man, blah.
let's live this hangin.